Goals for 2010

It took me a while to sit down and think of some goals for this year. I think it’s mainly because I’m in a bit of a funk. My eating hasn’t been how I wanted it to be and neither has exercise. This especially bothers me because I gained a few pounds over the holidays and I was hoping to have gotten rid of at least one pound by now. But I haven’t and I know I haven’t been honest with myself about why. I know that I wasn’t giving it my full effort. I was finding excuses to put off exercise until later and then running out of time in the day. I was eating fine all day and then using that as an excuse to eat a lot of sweets in the evening. Anything good I WAS doing was being cancelled out by the bad eating. But I’ve taken the step to admit to myself why the weight wasn’t disappearing. Now hopefully I can actually start making results happen.

I think I’m also in a funk because I’m finished school. Okay, I realize that makes me sound like a huge nerd, but I’ll admit it: I like school. I may not like all the stress or particular assignments/tests but overall, I enjoy it. And this is the first time in a long time that I haven’t been in school while most of my friends are. It’s such a weird feeling to have an entire weekend ahead of myself to do what I want without having to schedule it around homework. It’s even stranger to think that I won’t be going back to school until September 2011 (assuming I get accepted to whatever grad program I’m going for). Overall, it’s just such a strange adjustment, being out of school and knowing I’m not going back in a couple weeks or four months from now.

Anyway, now that I’ve got that off my chest, here are my general goals for the year:

1. Stay active.

My exercise routine suffered after I got sick and then busy with school and work. I want to start the year off well with exercise and establish a good routine of 30-45 minutes of activity 4-6 days per week. I did this for months before and I enjoyed it.

2. Eat more fruits and veggies.

I want to start incorporating a small serving of fruit or veggies with lunches, such as some carrot sticks or a small apple. I’m aiming for at least 5 servings a day, but preferably more. I think adding the extra serving at lunch and focusing on fruits and veggies as snacks will help me.

3. Drink more water.

I want to get back into my routine of having a large glass of water with each meal, plus a smaller glass with my 1-2 snacks per day. I don’t think I drank enough water over the holidays since I noticed I was a lot thirstier sometimes.

4. Focus more on fitness and health rather than numbers on the scale.

Last year, I let the scale dictate my feelings way too much and I became so dependent on it. My relationship with it was unhealthy and I had to stop weighing myself for a while to deal with it. I managed to get to a point where daily weighing was fine, but I want to focus on things differently this year. Instead of weighing so often, I want to trust myself more. If I’m eating healthy and staying active I should be able to trust that my body is maintaining. I want to get to the point where I hop on the scale occasionally just to check in, rather than feeling as though I have to monitor myself daily to make sure nothing changes. I also need to get more comfortable in a weight range, rather than wanting to see the exact same number each time and worrying if it’s up one day.

This one is currently hard for me as I’m trying to lose a couple pounds I know I gained. I’m trying not to focus on specific numbers in terms of losing them (although I am using the scale as a rough benchmark), but rather I’m trying to eat healthy and exercise and I know that should make a difference overall to my body. I think these couples of pounds are especially bothering me because I know I’ve lost some of my fitness as well. So hopefully regular exercise will get me a little more toned and make me feel better overall, even if the scale tells me the weight is still there. It might take a while, but I want to get away from the attachment to a particular number.

Well, I’m off to work for the day!

Valerie

My year in review

This year, I:

• reached my weight loss goal and felt great

• started running
• ran a 5K in 29 minutes, 11 seconds and raised $300 for breast cancer

• found a job related to my schooling
• had my first Oktoberfest experience

• saw the Olympic Torch for Vancouver 2010

• became more self confident and assertive
• graduated university

• found out the hard way what it feels like to be broke
• but still managed to keep my head above water creatively
• overcame by fear of heights through treetop trekking

• went to my first concert (Keane)

• started expanding my culinary skills and my diet with new foods

• started eating primarily vegetarian
• saw an Operation Beautiful style note and felt cheered up by it

Overall, it’s been a good year, and I’m looking forward to what 2010 is going to bring!

Valerie

The Christmas Recap

Wow was my Christmas holiday ever busy! I’ll skip ahead to Sunday (the 20th) since the only eventful thing happening before that was getting a cavity filled.

On Sunday, I went to an ugly Christmas sweater party. Beforehand my friend & I went to Goodwill to hunt down the most hideous and tacky stuff we could find. We also hit up the dollar store to accessorize. In the end, this is what we ended up with:

And the end result for me?

One detail you probably can’t see is the stylish gold stripes on the red shirt. Subtle but it just adds that perfect holiday touch. Oh, and you know that sweater is awesome. It was actually from the Gap so apparently at some point in time it was at least semi-fashionable. And that necklace I’m rocking? Homemade. I bought some tinsel and an ornament at the dollar store (believe me, it took forever to find the perfect shape and colour).

The rest of my Christmas holiday involved a lot of eating. I had a Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday dinner. And then leftovers on Christmas day. My family was supposed to go to Hanover, but the freezing rain/rain/snow business going on kind of put the kibosh on that one. So even without that one dinner, I still had THREE Christmases.

I’ll admit, I was worried. I typically watch what I eat, but somehow during the holidays that concern gets pushed more to the backburner. I think it’s because I want to enjoy things rather than worrying how many calories are in the couple of baked goods I’m eating. And I know I’ll be good about getting back on track after the holidays. Somehow though, I gained less than a pound in the 9 days I was at home for, which is pretty miraculous considering I had all those Christmas dinners (plus desserts, typically a slice of pie and/or some baked goods) and ate cereal for breakfast half the time (and I love cereal so I always eat way too much of it compared to when I eat oatmeal). I feel kind of flabby but I know that’s from the major lack of exercise this month.

So I’m recommitting right now. I want to get back to my routine of working out for 30-40 minutes 4-6 days per week (including cardio and weights). That worked great for me before in keeping me in shape, fairly toned, and giving that wiggle room to enjoy the occasional treat. Plus, I feel WAY better about myself when I’m working out (probably because I don’t have a stomach pudge like the one I’m currently rocking).

I do have houseguests coming on the evening of the 28th, until the afternoon on the 31st so my routine might be interrupted, but I’m going to be happy with myself if I work out today (the 26th), the 27th and the 28th before they arrive. That way, I can still meet my weekly quota for exercise even if I don’t do anything while they’re here.

One last note before I start cleaning the house: I love Boxing Day. I scored a pair of jeans, two sweaters, two cardigans, a long sleeved shirt and three t-shirts, all for half of what it would have cost if it wasn’t on sale. Score!! It also means I’m finally rocking a pretty full wardrobe for the first time since losing weight (hey, it takes time and money to rebuild it to the same extent!).

Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays and spending time with friends/family!

Valerie

I’m a graduate!

I’m officially done university! I actually finished on December 16th at about 10am after writing my last exam, which thankfully went well. I felt like I studied all the right material and hardly ever had to make a complete guess on the questions. It was a great feeling and a great way to finish up my undergrad!

I’ve been at home since Wednesday afternoon since I had a dentist appointment scheduled for the next morning at 10:30… to fill a cavity. Ugh. But really, I can’t complain that much since I hadn’t been to the dentist in a while (uh… like 2 years… or more) so the fact that I only had one cavity is kind of miraculous! Anyway, being at home has been interesting.

My parents know of my decision to eat vegetarian. However, my mom still offers me meat. Huh. It’s a little weird. And being at home is more challenging, as I have to provide my own meat substitutes, and the fact that the holidays are here doesn’t help (but more on that later).

So I did this: I brought home three servings of tofu and a half cup each of dried black beans and dried chickpeas. I cooked up the beans yesterday and made two bean patties and three servings of bean “meat”balls. Voila, my meat substitutes!

I still think my mom thinks it’s weird. I don’t blame her that much. I was THE pickiest eater as a kid. I wouldnt eat pasta sauce that had “bits” in it (aka onion or spice pieces). Tomatoes were out unless it was pasta sauce or ketchup. I would never dream of eating zucchini. So the fact that I happily eat beans and tofu now is probably a bit of a shock as a kid. What can I say, my tastebuds have changed a lot over the years!

Onto the holiday issue. Since it’s my first Christmas as a vegetarian AND I’m not 100% adamantly opposed to eating meat, I’m going to partake in small amounts of turkey at the three Christmases I have. I know, I’m kind of wimping out, but Christmas is one of the only holidays that I see my family and I don’t want to spend that offending my grandma who slaved away cooking a turkey, you know? It’s also my first Christmas ever with my grandma & grandpa on my mom’s side. They usually go to Florida but didn’t this year so I want to have a nice Christmas with them, rather than spending it explaining my vegetarianism and possibly offending them.

Anyway, I’m off to do some Christmas shopping (and by that I mean start.. haha, I fail this year)!

Valerie

This Week in Pictures

Oh my I’ve been MIA! That’s what happens when work picks up, I have a major research paper due and a final to study for after a busy busy weekend home!

Let’s recap, shall we?

The roomies and I got into the festive spirit and put up our decorations.

I tried to decorate myself. Don’t act like you’re not jealous of my hot accessory!

I blame my earlier behaviour on a combination of sugar and caffeine in the form of a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. Yum!

My kitties were all super cute in their bed by the fire at home.

The boyfriend and I got dressed up for his work Christmas party.

 And here’s a full length shot from the end of the night. Because we always forget to take these kinds of pictures before we go. Hence the hair being a little messy and the boyfriend’s photography skills being a little less than stellar!

So my next couple days are looking a little like this:

Tuesday (tomorrow) – Paper deadline! Edit, edit, edit and then submit and be relieved. Then home to study till I drop, which brings us to…

Wednesday – Final exam day! At 8:30am too… who made this exam schedule?! By 10-10:30 I should be breathing a MAJOR sigh of relief as at that point I will be DONE WITH MY UNDERGRAD!!!

Obviously, I’m pretty amped about that! I should get some sleep in prep for my busy day tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Valerie

Things to look forward to

Eventually, my assignments will be finished. And in the mean time I can look forward to:

• Relaxing on Tuesday night when I get home from work
• Going to see my family at home for the first time since Thanksgiving on Thursday
• Getting my hair cut on Friday morning
• Having Disney movie night with my best friend on Friday night. He has Aladdin and The Lion King, which happen to be my favourites, along with The Little Mermaid (fun fact: I loved that movie so much as a kid I named my cat Ariel because “she has red hair”.. haha)
• Going to see my dad’s band Christmas concert on Saturday night with another awesome friend & probably enjoying some coffee afterward at our classic hangout
• And then… going to the Christmas party for my boyfriend’s work on Sunday night. My roomie is also going (with a girl that works there) and we’re debating as to whether we should talk in random accents all night, or, since the party is for the 3 stores in the tri-city area, we want to pretend we work at whatever store each person we talk to doesn’t work at. I’m so amped. And don’t even get me started on being able to wear my dress…!

Knowing that I have all that stuff to look forward to suddenly makes this assignment a little more bearable. I think it’s time to get back to work!

But first: my friend and I were listening to random Disney songs on YouTube last night (as well as re-living our high school band days). When I went on there this morning, YouTube had the following suggestions for me:

IT KNOWS!!

Ok, assignment time for real now!

Valerie

Where have you gone, November?

I’m sitting here looking at my calendar, realizing that a) I haven’t blogged in a good 10 days and b) November is almost over! Where does the time go?

I’m currently supposed to be writing a paper (or two… ahem) so this will be quick & pictureless.

What’s new?

School is hectic. From now until the end of my school term (December 16th) I have the following to finish: two papers (about 20 pages between the two), a poster presentation, a quiz, a lab report (12 pages) and a final exam. I also may or may not have about four weeks of reading for my psychology & religion class to catch up. Oops!

I’m also starting to apply for jobs. I sent out my first resume on Wednesday, to a company that I really, really, really want to work for. They’re not advertising that they’re hiring right now, but I figured sending out a resume wouldn’t hurt. You should have seen me there at the computer getting ready to email it. My boyfriend is sitting with me, telling me to just go ahead and press send, after I’ve asked if he’s sure it looks okay. Repeat this about ten times and combine it with mild hysterics and panic. I finally had the mouse over the send button and then hit it, following which I had another moment of panic thinking of all the things I might have done wrong on my cover letter/resume.

So, my fingers are crossed.

On the exercise front, I’ve been all over the place. I set a goal to be active in some way each day for the next month (November 11-December 11) and I’d met that goal 80% of the time. I’ve gotten back into running though I seem to have myself convinced it’s too cold to run outside (never mind the fact that I started running in March, not exactly a balmy month) so I’m relegated to the treadmill only when the roomies aren’t home (for some weird reason, the treadmill messes with our internet connection). I do want to get in some outdoor running before we get too much snow. I just need to go out and do it.

As for eating vegetarian, I’ve been sticking to it 99% of the time. I’m addicted to eating ham on my grilled cheese sandwiches and that’s honestly been the hardest thing to give up. I caved today and I also have in the past, but otherwise I’m making the transition well! And seriously, I love tofu. I feel bad for ever doubting it!

Going home next weekend should be interesting – I have only told my boyfriend that I’m eating vegetarian. My parents have yet to learn, but I’m planning to take some tofu home so I have that as an option at dinner. I’m not entirely sure what they’ll think!

Alright, essay time (again)!

Valerie

A mixed bag

Today started off well. I went to work and had a really nice chat with one of my co-workers about some of our concerns about work. It was really nice to know she felt the same way about certain things!

After work, however, I found a lovely treat on my car.

Uh oh. I got this while parked in an expired metered spot on campus for 5 minutes. The time on the ticket? Literally 2 minutes before I got back to my car! Seriously? Ugh! I was a little miffed until I remembered hearing about other people that just never paid the ticket. Since it’s through the university and not the city (which can then cause issues when you try to renew anything car related if you have outstanding tickets), the only way they can track you down is if they have your plate on file. They don’t have mine, so I’ll cross my fingers and watch my account for any holds. Hopefully I’ll be home free and won’t have to pay the $30 (who knew parking for 5 minutes could cost so much?)

My mood got better when I got home and found this on the counter:

Oooh, a parcel for me? Let’s find out what was inside!

A mysterious white box. Hmm…

It looks like a water bottle! It was then that I remembered my CIBC Run for the Cure run reward that I ordered on October 5th. And that’s exactly what it was!

I got this for raising $300 for breast cancer research! Pretty nice, eh? I like the plastic top on it. My current water bottle has a metal top on it and I find it makes the water taste funky. Hopefully this one will work out better!

My mood also improved when I remembered I have a brand new dress hanging in my closet! My boyfriend’s work is having a Christmas party in about 3 weeks so I went dress shopping last night. I spent a little more than I anticipated but I fell in love with the dress on the rack and trying it on only solidified my opinion that it had to come home with me. Besides, I can also wear it for science formal at my school, coming up in March!

Here’s a sneak peek:

I’m so in love with this dress, it might be borderline unhealthy! Haha! But seriously, I realized last night that shopping in general is so much more enjoyable now that my body image has improved.

It’s been a slow process though. I reached my goal weight of 135 in May of this year and it wasn’t until several months later that I realized just how much smaller I was after losing 40 pounds. I’ve since lost a bit of additional weight (I was at 129 last I checked) and finally, 6 months after hitting goal, I actually feel thinner. It’s been amazing to finally be able to appreciate just how different my body is and to feel like all my hard work has paid off. And it makes shopping more fun! Instead of worrying that I won’t fit into the biggest size, I’m at a happy medium in the sizing spectrum. My main concern is now that I’m not entirely happy with the way it fits, rather than whether it even fits at all.

I feel so blessed, that after hating my body since the age of about 18 (when I gained the weight), I have come to accept the way I look. I can look in the mirror and feel good about myself. I do still have days where I see flaws. My body image isn’t perfect all the time, but the positives certainly outweigh the negatives. I’ve learned to embrace the shape of my body rather than desperately wish I looked different.

Has anyone else experienced a discrepancy between how you look and how you think you look after losing weight? Were you surprised when people would comment that you’re tiny now when you still feel bigger? I’ve heard that it can take months or years for your brain to fully process the changes, depending on how much weight you lose! I definitely had that experience!

Valerie

Squash success, chick pea fail

This week, I was suddenly inspired to try cooking some things I’ve never attempted before.

First up, squash! I picked out a small pepper squash at the grocery store and did some searching for cooking instructions. It seemed simple enough. I cut the squash up, drizzle some melted olive oil margarine over it and sprinkled some brown sugar on it like my mom does. After baking it in the oven for about 50 minutes, it came out nice and soft and SOOO yummy! I’ve missed having squash! I’m feeling a repeat of this for tonight’s dinner!

I tried my hand at cooking raw chick peas and black beans yesterday. The black beans turned out fine – I soaked them overnight and cooked them for about an hour and a bit according to the package directions.

The chick peas were a whole other story. First, we have some slightly confusing directions:

So it says to soak overnight to reduce cooking time and later says soaking is not recommend. Huh?? Well, since soaking wasn’t recommended, I skipped that step. It didn’t get any better after that. As you can see, the total cooking time is 55 minutes. After an hour, they still weren’t cooked. So I kept on cooking them, wondering what the heck is going on! My black beans were long finished cooking and chilling in the fridge before these got anywhere near cooked!

I later checked online. You ARE supposed to soak them if you don’t want to spend a million years waiting for them to cook. Well, darn you and your confusing instructions NuPak! At least I’ll know for next time and I guess on the plus side, I got a ton of homework finished while waiting in the kitchen. Being away from the distraction of my computer is so helpful sometimes!

Speaking of my computer: tragic news. I went to use my computer yesterday morning and moved the mouse to “wake up” my monitor display. After a quick glimpse of my desktop, it went black, flashing occasionally along with the power button. Nothing I did seemed to fix it. My boyfriend hooked it up to his computer in case something was wrong with my computer, but it did the same thing.

Sigh. My poor 6 year old monitor finally gave up on me! But on the plus side, I got a shiny new monitor that is HUGE in comparison – it’s a 20” widescreen while my old monitor was only 17” and not widescreen. It was even ON SALE for $40 off! Here it is, looking all glamorous in the picture I shamelessly nabbed from a website.

 

The buttons are all touch/heat sensitive, which resulted in me not being able to figure out how to turn it on initially. Now THAT was a seriously embarrassing call to the boyfriend, who works as a computer technician. I’ve definitely learned a lot about computers from him but that wasn’t one of my finer technology related moments! But it works now, even if the menu things are super awkward and I haven’t quite figured them out yet!

My journey into vegetarianism has been going well. I did eat some shrimp one day when out with friends. We went to a cafe near our house and although I wasn’t intending to eat when I got there, I started getting hungry while waiting in line (it was packed – though it was a Friday night). Sadly, their menu isn’t very vegetarian friendly unless you want a salad, pasta or the single sandwich option. So I caved and got a spinach salad with shrimp. I think that will likely be a challenge – finding vegetarian options when going out to eat. Thankfully, more restaurants are willing to accommodate to that now and some even have several vegetarian options which is great!

Now, after this update, I’m off to search for some motivation to write a paper. I have one due next Friday and the progress I’ve made so far is picking a topic. Uh oh… I also have one due the following Monday, which thankfully I HAVE started but I really need to get in gear for these next couple weeks!

Valerie

30 Day Challenge

I’m really struggling to get back into the exercise groove, since falling out of it when I got sick. I’m the type of person that can fall off the exercise wagon after a week of missing workouts, so missing an entire month of regular working out from being sick is making this a real challenge for me.

But I’ve decided enough is enough. I’m better now and I’m a little tired of feeling out of shape and less toned than usual. The only way to change that is to do something about it.

I’m committing right here, right now to my own personal 30 day challenge. From today until December 11th, I’m going to commit to exercising in some manner every day. It can be as simple as taking a 20 minute walk or doing some strength training for 10-15 minutes. But I’m going to be physically active each day.

I also want to get back into running regularly. I really do miss it and hopefully I haven’t lost much endurance. I’ve only been able to run twice since getting sick. Once, I ran for 15 minutes at a time when I thought I was getting better initially (turns out I wasn’t). I also ran for about 8 minutes a few days ago when my cough was basically gone. It may not be much, but it’s a small start and I know I can only build from there. I’m hoping to do a short 3km loop around my neighbourhood tonight or tomorrow to ease back into things.

I know I can do this and I’ve got some accountability right here with the blog to keep me going!

In other news, I bought a winter coat after visiting about 5 stores in the mall. Old Navy was having a 50% off sale but all the coats were: a) as long as dresses on me (I’m 5’3″ so shorter coats are preferred), b) had only 3/4 length sleeves (um, hello, I live in Canada, that’s not going to help) or c) were white or bright green (not my colours of choice). I headed to another store where I fell in love with a coat. Unfortunately, I fell out of love pretty quick when I saw the $170 price tag. A store across the way saved the day. I found a coat really similar to the $170 one for only $100. Even better, this coat included a free pashmina scarf! Score!

This coat is longer than I’m used to but I fell in love with it right away! I loved the way it fit – I’m so used to winter coats being bulky and shapeless but this actually nips in at the waist nicely.

And here is my free pashmina scarf:

The only trouble is this: I’m semi-fashion inept, meaning I’m not really sure how to wear it. Do you use it like a regular scarf or is there some special way to work it? Maybe Google can help me!

On a final note, I found this yesterday (but took a picture today when I brought my camera to school specifically to snap this):

It was posted beside the mirror in a washroom in the psych department at my university. I’ve read Operation Beautiful in the past and always thought it would be cool to see one in person. Well, I underestimated my own reaction. The minute I realized what it was, I couldn’t stop smiling and I feel like my day got a little brighter. It was just really touching! I don’t know who posted it or when, but it’s been there for at least 2 days and no one has moved it. I hope it stays there for a long time

Valerie